Delicate Venom

Ashes and Wine (Part Two)

2009-08-28T06:00:45Z

Title: Ashes and Wine (Part Two)
Pairing: Jacob/Bella
Rating: PG
Word Count: 4,427
Summary: After five years of no contact, Bella decides to move back to Forks and begin the life she knew she was meant to live with the only man she loved. She just didn't expect that he would be engaged. Based on the song by A Fine Frenzy.
Authors Notes: This is part two! If you've not read the first part, please click here.

Is there a chance
A fragment of light at the end of the tunnel
A reason to fight?

The trees blended together as Bella drove by them, her mind gone in a reverie. She replayed the phone call in her head.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Bella.”

She smiled involuntarily. “Hey, Jake.”

“What’s on the agenda for today?”

She shrugged to herself, twirling the wire cord around her finger. “Nothing, really.”

“Good, so come over. I have a surprise for you.”

Her heart still pounded at the memory. Thankfully, she was almost there. As she approached, she saw a tall figure waiting where her car always parked. The closer she got, the clearer the features of Jacob became.

He hardly let her out of the car before he was grabbing her hand and pulling her to the garage.

“Jacob!” she exclaimed, breathless with laughter. “What on Earth-”

The words died on her lips when she saw what was in the center of the garage.

She moved towards it silently, gently running her hands over the smooth metal.

“It’s still in great shape,” he said quietly. “I didn’t ride it, but I couldn’t give it away, either.” He shrugged. “So I just maintained it. Good thing I did, too,” he ended with a sheepish smile.

“Jake,” she choked out. “I can’t believe…”

She was saved from trying to speak past the lump in her throat by a pop behind her. With a grin, he passed her a can of soda. When her eyes moved from the brown paper bag to his, he shrugged meekly. “For old time’s sake.”

Bella reached out to take it, willing herself not to tremble as her fingertips brushed his. Her resolution almost broke when he didn’t immediately let go, but instead looked at her searchingly.

“Something’s wrong.” It isn’t a question or an accusation. It’s a simple statement, a simple observation that takes Bella’s breath away because five years still hasn’t changed the ease with which he could read her. That both excited and terrified her.

And as if the years apart have been erased or perhaps rewound, he takes her into his arms to offer her silent comfort. He doesn’t pry, doesn’t question- just tucks her head under his chin and runs his hands up, down, around her back in soothing motions, and she’s clutching, grasping, holding on as if he’s the anchor of her world, which, perhaps, in a way he is.

It’s as if they’re teenagers again. Just Jake and Bells. No monsters, no magic, no wedding to tear them apart. Her breath hitches.

Jacob pulls back and gazes into her eyes. She sees the look in them but it is unfathomable, simply pulling her in and she knows she should look away become she’s drowning, yes it’s like she’s drowning, and she knows she should fight, but there’s a comfort in the inky depths of the water underneath that calls to her and strips away her resolve.

And as if he knows this, as if he understands it, he sighs, “Oh, Bells,” and pulls her into the circle of his arms once more.

Is there a chance you may change your mind

Or are we ashes and wine?

They walk along the beach now, shoulders nearly brushing. They talk about everything and nothing, dancing around the issue between them that they both know is there, that should be discussed, the questions that should be answered.

But there is only one way such a discussion could end, and neither of them is yet willing to reach that point.

And so they talk about neutral, unthreatening things to pass the time and simply enjoy each other’s company.

Eventually, they reach the bone-white tree that holds so many memories. They stop, and Jacob has a far-away look in his eyes as he examines the area, turning to look out at the water.

Bella stays quiet, a quizzical smile playing upon her lips as she, in turn, studies him.

Suddenly, he’s facing her. He grabs both of her hands and looks down at them. His thumb traces the third finger of her left hand and when his eyes flicker up to meet hers, they are scorching in their heat.

He drops her hands as if they have stung him and turns away from her.

Later, Bella will spend hours driving herself crazy over whether that look was for what should have been, or what should be.

I’ll tear myself away if that is what you need

There is nothing left to say, but

Bella lost count of how many times she called after that, only to be told he was in the garage, he was out, he would be back later. It reminded her of how he acted after he transformed.

Well, two could play that game. Just as she had done then, she pulled up in front of the little red house, prepared to stake it out.

After twenty minutes of this, the front door opened and a figure waved her in.

“Hey Billy,” Bella greeted.

“Bella,” he nodded, his voice grave. “Jacob isn’t here.”

Her smile no longer reached her eyes, but had a determined edge to it. “So I keep being told.”

“Yes, but this time, it’s true.” He tried to manage a small smile. “He went to Port Angeles with Anna.”

Her head jerked in a nod. “Well, I’ll just wait until he gets back.”

“Bella-”

“I did not come back to Forks to be shut from his life!”

The emotional outburst may have embarrassed her if she wasn’t so resolute.

Billy just nodded grimly. “I’ll tell him you came by.”

Three hours later, the phone rang. Bella nearly broke her neck to reach it.

“Hello?”

“I guess history is repeating itself, in a way.”

Her shoulders sagged in relief and she sunk to the floor. Still, she couldn’t keep the bitterness out of her voice as she replied, “I wish it wouldn’t. Why, for Pete’s sake, are you avoiding me again?!”

Jacob sighed. “It doesn’t matter.”

“The hell it does!”

She could imagine him quirking an eyebrow. “Such language, Bella. I wouldn’t expect it from you.” He tried to be playful, teasing. He failed dismally. He must have realized this, for he continued. “Bells… Bella… It’s… God, how do I explain it?”

“Spit it out, Jacob,” she replied, taking her own advice.

“It’s… hard… being around you again. It brings back things… memories, feelings… that I shouldn’t have. Can’t have. Being around you, it’s like the five years apart didn’t happen, didn’t exist. But they did, Bella. They did, and I’m getting married. And… I love Anna. She was there for me, she taught me to smile again. I can’t go back, Bella. I can’t.”

The pain in his voice formed a lump in her throat. She found it hard to breathe, and even if she could, she didn’t know what words to say.

Silence reigned for a few long moments. Finally, Bella found her voice.

“Oh.” She winced. ‘Oh’? “Then… What does this mean, Jacob? What does this mean for us?”

“I don’t know,” he whispered brokenly.

Soon after, Bella hung up the phone.

She didn’t call back.

Is there a chance

A fragment of light at the end of the tunnel

A reason to fight?

Days slipped by, and still, Bella and Jacob didn’t contact each other. It was hard, so hard, but she had to do it. She didn’t want to hurt him again. She was so tired of causing him pain.

The sound of a familiar motor running outside made her heart leap to her throat. She turned from the kitchen counter in time to see Charlie jogging to the door. Halfway to it, he paused and turned to her apologetically.

“Bells, I completely forgot to tell you! Billy’s coming over to watch the game. Don’t worry about dinner- Billy’s bringing over his ‘Famous Spaghetti’.” He smiled and continued on his way to the door, reaching it just as an uncharacteristically timid knock sounded.

“Come on in, invalid,” Charlie said with a grin, opening the door wide and stepping to the side.

“Watch it, Chief, or I’ll run over your feet!” Billy retorted, and endeavored to do just that. The two men laughed and went to the living room, completely ignoring their children.

Bella and Jacob stared at each other from across the room. He broke the tension of the moment by turning to close the door, giving Bella a moment to collect herself.

When he turned back to her, a too-bright smile was plastered to her face. “I’ll just be upstairs.”

She forgot how quickly and quietly he could move. Before she had taken three steps, he was grabbing her arm. “Bella…”

She stood, frozen, held captive by the plaintive look in his eyes and the tone of his voice. Eyes flickered to lips and back again. The world forgotten, nothing but each other and the here and now existing, time stood still, space between them decreased.

A loud cheer from the living room brought them crashing back to reality. Jacob pulled back and whirled away. A moment later, and he was gone.

Is there a chance you may change your mind?

It was over. It was over, and there was nothing she could do about it.

It was over. For in a few short hours morning would come, and Jacob Black would be a married man.

She wondered if this is what he felt like when she was close, close, so close, nearly there to marrying Edward. She hoped not, because the pain she was feeling was nearly unbearable.

She remembered that night, when she dreamed of her wedding day. It was on a beach, not in a backyard, and the man standing under the arch wasn’t of a pale complexion and golden eyes, but of russet skin and warm brown eyes.

The next day, the Cullen’s left town.

Or are we ashes and wine?

But she knew better than that. He was getting married tomorrow. Anna would surely replace her.

It was time to let him go. Time to let go of the vision of the black-haired children running and playing on the beach, of the hope that they would be together, grow old together.

It was time to accept the mistake she had made all those years ago. As much as she wished she could, she couldn’t turn back the hands of time and do it differently.

He was gone to her. If she was lucky enough to still have his friendship, that’s what she would have to content herself with. And that would be enough. It had to be.

The day’s still ashes and wine

The moon peeked from behind the clouds on a canvas on dark blue. The wind rattled the panes of glass in the windows, and the rain beat almost angrily upon the house. It was a bad storm, and Charlie would be stuck at the station for a while yet, unable to brave the hungry storm claiming the streets.

Inside was toasty, but even though Bella sat in front of the fireplace, staring at the flames, she was cold. She couldn’t seem to shake the chill no matter what she did. It settled over her, shaking her bones and turning her smooth skin into pimpled gooseflesh.

She lost track of how long she sat there, staring at the fire. Long enough that she was sure that if she moved, her bones wound groan in protest. Long enough to have polished off nearly three-quarters of a bottle of wine. Long enough. Long enough, yet not long enough. Sleep still evaded her, and no matter how hard she tried to escape them, her mind was still plagued with thoughts of him, and the event the morning would bring.

If only. If only…

Or are we ashes…?

Maybe it was the sound of the pounding rain and the howling wind, or maybe she was just too deep into her thoughts to have heard anything. As it was, it was only when a shadow passed over her face that she became aware of another presence. She looked up.

There, soaking wet, hair plastered to his face, breathing heavily as if he had run all the way there, was Jacob Black.

Ashes and Wine (Part One)

2009-08-28T05:52:31Z

Title: Ashes and Wine (Part One)
Pairing: Jacob/Bella
Rating: PG
Word Count: 4,427
Summary: After five years of no contact, Bella decides to move back to Forks and begin the life she knew she was meant to live with the only man she loved. She just didn't expect that he would be engaged. Based on the song by A Fine Frenzy.
Authors Notes: This IS a oneshot, but it had to be split in two because it was too long for LJ. So don't forget to immediately proceed to part 2! This piece took me a while to complete, for the main reason that it's highly personal. It was incredibly hard to write and I'm a wee bit nervous about sharing it, but... I hope you like it! Please leave a review to let me know what you think!

Don’t know what to do anymore
I've lost the only love worth fighting for

Bella bit her lip and closed her eyes, trying to muster up the courage to make this last, final, most important phone call. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes.

Finally, her fingers danced over the buttons, dialing the number she knew so well. She lost count of how many times they danced this little dance, only to end during the overture before the real show could begin.

One… two… three…

Just when she was about to hang up, someone finally answered.

“Hello?”

With a whoosh, she let out the breath she didn’t even know she was holding. It was a moment of frantically trying to slow down her racing heart before she realized now would be the time to respond.

“…Hi.” Even she rolled her eyes at herself, wincing. She was searching for words to say- like who she was, for instance, when-

“Bella? Bella Swan?”

She blinked, taken aback, but warmth suffused her to know how instantly he recognized her voice, a voice he hadn’t heard in five years.

“Surprise,” she said.

“No kidding,” he exhaled. Bella could clearly picture him sinking onto the couch and running his hand through his hair, eyebrows raised.

“I know. It’s been a long time. Too long,” she added quietly.

“So what makes you break five years worth of absolute silence?” He tried to be casual and nonchalant, but Bella could determine the underlying tinge of bitterness.

“Jake, I…” Bella stumbled over her words, not quite sure what to say to that. Before she could start rambling, Jacob cut her off with a sigh.

“I’m sorry, that wasn’t fair. I guess I care more than I tried to convince myself I did,” he chuckled darkly.

“I’m sorry.” Her voice was barely a whisper as she closed her eyes, angry that she couldn’t find the words she so longed to say, had longed to say for five years- longer.

“It’s okay. Actually, I… I’m glad you called. I’ve been thinking a lot about you lately.”

Bella smiled so wide her cheeks hurt. “I’ve missed you, too. Listen, Jake, the reason I called you is to tell you I’m coming back. I’m moving back to Forks.”

Silence. Then, slowly, “When are you coming?”

She laughed nervously. “Next week.”

“Good.” A deep, rattling, unsure breath. “Then you’ll be here for the wedding.”

She blinked once, twice. “Wedding?”

“Yeah. Bells… Bella… I’m getting married.”

Even the crash of the phone hitting the floor couldn’t pull Bella back to reality.

I’ll drown in my tear storming sea
That would show you, that would make you hurt like me

“Surprise! Welcome home, Bella.”

Bella paused in the doorway, shock, then embarrassment, then dismay showing on her face. She looked around to see those of her friends who still remained in Forks beaming, along with Billy Black and the pack. All but one…

“Welcome back, Bella,” a voice to her left said. She turned and saw Jacob. In light of the smile he was gracing her with, she forgot all about the phone call.

“Jacob!” she exclaimed. The next thing she knew, they were wrapped together in a hug she wasn’t sure who initiated. “It’s good to be back,” she said, once they pulled away.

“There’s someone I’d like for you to meet,” he said. He held his right hand out to a young woman standing quietly smiling. She took his hand and stepped forward.

“Bella, this is my fiancé, Anna.”

That night, after everyone had left and Charlie lay peacefully snoring in his room, Bella sat in the shower, arms wrapped around her knees, sobbing. She replayed that moment over and over in her mind, my fiancé, Anna, my fiancé, her, her, not you, no more, never you. She doesn’t even remember, doesn’t even know how she made it through the night without ripping out either her own hair, or Anna’s.

The scorching water beat down on her body mercilessly, burning rivulets blending with the saltwater tears spilling from her eyes.

The worst part of the night was Embry’s carefully watching eyes as he told her that no, Anna was not an imprint.

Briefly, Bella contemplated drowning herself right here in the bathtub with her tears and the hot, hot, too hot water. A sadistic part of her wanted to do just that, to strike out at Jacob, to tear his heart to pieces, to make him feel the way she felt right now. To make him realize that he’d just lost the only person who fit him, the only person who his heart belonged to, the only person who could love him so completely and unreservedly now that she’d learned her lessons. In other words, the one he was meant to love, the one he was meant to marry, the one he was meant to grow old with. Her. Isabella Swan.

All the same
I don't want mudslinging games
It's just a shame
To let you walk away

But she couldn’t do that to him. She wouldn’t be so selfish, not again, after all she put him through with Edward. She couldn’t stand to see the lost, hurt, or worse- pitying look he would give her. She didn’t want to fight, didn’t want to argue.

Yet she couldn’t just let him go without knowing. She couldn’t not try. The words left unsaid burned her tongue, waiting, waiting to let loose, to spill forth from the dam that, holding them captive for too long, burned like acid, peeling away her layers of control, of resistance.

Which was worse: to try and fail, or wonder “what if?” for the rest of her life?

Jacob had made a decision similar. He knew she would choose Edward. He knew how things would end, with him battered and bruised. Yet he’d tried anyway.

But if there was one thing Isabella Swan was not, it was a martyr. She was not as strong as Jacob Black.

Is there a chance
A fragment of light at the end of the tunnel
A reason to fight?

Besides, even if she did muster up the courage to tell him, did she even have a hope of getting him back? Or would it put a wedge in their friendship if Jake resented her for it? It was a possibility, and after all the pain, she knew she would deserve it.

So what should she do?

Sighing, Bella stood and turned off the water. She toweled herself dry before she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She turned to face it, and looked at herself critically.

She wasn’t terrible-looking, she supposed. There was nothing ugly about her, but nothing pretty, either. Her brown hair wasn’t lanky, but was not silky. Her eyes weren’t dull, but nor were they captivating. Plain, that was it. She was plain.

She bit her lip as she continued to look, shaking her head.

Boys back in Phoenix said she was pretty. Edward had always told her she was beautiful. Standing next to him, though, made her feel anything but. Her flaws jumped out at her, no matter how many times he complimented her.

Jake, though. Jake always made her feel beautiful. The way he looked at her, like she was the only girl he could see, the way he always wanted to touch her and told her hand. The way that, so selflessly and unreservedly he loved her. Even though he could have done so much better.

Sighing, Bella turned away from the mirror and donned her clothing.

Is there a chance you may change your mind
Or are we ashes and wine?

“If you don’t stop stealing my marshmallows, Quil, I am going to shove this stick up your-” Embry began to warn slowly, only to be cut off by the marshmallow being stuffed into his mouth by Anna. He glared playfully at her, and viciously bit into the marshmallow before pushing it through his teeth. Jacob chuckled.

Bella sat against a log, staring into the fire. Jacob had invited her along to their Friday night ritual of toasting marshmallows in a fire at First Beach as if they were kids again. Well, she thought, looking down at her glass of wine, almost.

Her mind wandered to other memories of similar substance. The first time they had met here, by the bone-white tree that had quickly become “their spot.” The time, by that same tree, she found out he was a werewolf. The campfire and stories of the Quileute legends. That time, though, Jake’s arms were around her.

Bitterly, Bella looked over at Jacob- her Jacob- and his- Bella winced inwardly- fiancé. At the moment, Jake was leaning against a log, legs spread open enough for Anna to sit between them, leaning on his chest. His arms were wrapped around her and he was nuzzling her neck as she giggled, the firelight dancing in her eyes. It was such a picturesque moment that it physically hurt Bella to watch.

Some time later, Bella stared down at the ashes of the fire that before lit so brightly, scorching, hungry, never sated, never getting enough. She swished the remaining wine around in her glass before tipping it into her throat.

Don’t know if our fate’s already sealed
This day’s a spinning circus on a wheel

She didn’t know why she was doing this to herself. She really must be a masochist. Edward had to have worn off on her.

Parked across the street, Bella looked upon a church. Not just any church- no. The church Jacob was to be married in. Seeing it, picturing what that day would be like, made it all the more real.

She should leave. She should turn her car back on and drive away like a bat out of hell. So why on God’s green Earth was she removing the key from her ignition and getting out? Her feet were moving towards the church of their own accord.

It had been a long time since Bella entered a church, but strangely, she didn’t feel out of place. She looked around, picked up a psalm book and flipped through the pages, ran her hand over the polished wood of the pews.

Slowly, she walked to the front of the church, facing the altar. She turned to her right.

Here. Here is where Anna would be standing in a white dress, looking in front of her at Jake, the man so soon to be her husband. She would whisper “I love you” as the priest spoke, and watch Jacob grin that grin that stretched from ear to ear. The smile that used to, used to, long ago, never again belong to Bella

She turned away, moving to the back of the church, and sat in a pew. Here is where she would be sitting. In the back, like a stranger. Here, she would see Jacob say “I do” and become someone else’s husband, take someone else as his wife. She would see them come down the isle, hand-in-hand, faces flushed with joy as her heart felt sand-papered. Here, she would see the end of her world, so big a part of it was he.

She gripped the pew so hard her knuckles turned white, and swallowed the bile rising in her throat. It seemed as if everything was spinning, spinning, tumbling, speeding, turning, and she wanted to get off but it was too late, she was in for the ride until it was over, all over, and there was nothing she could do to stop it, nothing, never, it was all out of her hands, out of her control.

She took a deep breath that was almost a sob and shut her eyes so tightly, stars erupted beneath her lids.

She was going down, and there was not a damned thing she could do about it.

And I’m ill with the thought of your kiss
Coffee-laced, intoxicating on her lips

It was only a matter of time before it happened, really. She knew it happened, obviously, she just hoped to never witness it. She told herself that if she didn’t see it, it may not be real. She was always good at deluding herself. But one day, her illusions had to shatter. And shatter they did, along with her heart, into millions of tiny pieces.

Didn’t he know? He always knew her better than anyone. Didn’t he think of how it would hurt her? Didn’t he?

It replayed over and over in her head, like a skipping, repeating movie, and she tried to press mute, tried to shut it off, tried to turn away, but you can’t hide from the images of your mind, they’re there whether you like it or not. Briefly, Bella wondered if this is what it felt like to go crazy.

It was at Billy’s house. Quil and Embry decided to be fools and reenact Jacob’s proposal to Anna as they had experienced it through the pack mind.

The words, although spoken purposefully maudlin by Quil to an eyelash-fluttering Embry, pierced Bella, and she found herself blinking furiously against tears.

And then it happened.

As the applause broke out, Jacob, who had an arm wrapped around Anna’s waist, pulled her in for a kiss.

Bella’s world crumbled.

Shut it out
I’ve got no claim on you now
I’m not allowed to wear your freedom down, no

Bella snapped her eyes shut and shook her head back and forth vigorously, as if trying to shake the thought from her head.

She really needed to stop torturing herself this way. There was nothing she could do, and she was only serving to make herself sick.

She had no right to be jealous. He was no longer hers. She deserved it, this was her fault. She lost her chance with him. Five years was a long time. Did she- could she- really expect him to wait that long for something he didn’t know would come? No. To expect so would be unfair.

Unfair. This entire situation was unfair! If only she’d known!

But it was too late for that. What’s done is done. Jacob was getting married to someone else, and she would just have to deal with that. She couldn’t hold him back now.

Part Two

Diary

2009-03-30T21:07:36Z

Title: Diary
Pairing: Jacob/Bella
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2,575
Summary: Edward finds Bella's diary underneath a tree, and begins to read. Post-Eclipse, based on the song Diary by Bread.
Authors Notes: I'm still not happy with the way one scene turned out, but, eh. I haven't written anything for quite some time, so I'm a bit rusty. Hope you enjoy anyway ;]

I found her diary underneath a tree
And started reading about me

Edward Cullen decided to enjoy the beautiful autumn afternoon by walking at a human pace to the house he shared in the forest clearing with his wife, Bella.

He smiled to himself. Just thinking of her, being able to call her his wife, gave him inexplicable joy. She was everything he had ever wanted, what he had waiting nearly a century for. And now, joined by marriage, they were bound irrevocably.

True, things had not turned out the way he’d expected. Bella had been begging him from the beginning to turn her, give her immortality. On the night she was to be changed, though, she had reconsidered. She was afraid, but that was only to be expected. She said she’d just needed time.

However, it was quite some time later, and she had yet to broach the subject with him. He tried not to read too much into it, despite how distant she acted from him now. Well, perhaps distant was the wrong word. Reserved was better. It was true that Edward had never been able to read her, but it seemed so much more pronounced now.

He shrugged to himself and looked up to realize he was almost home. Then, something fluttering in the corner of his eye caught his attention.

Well, that’s certainly one thing about her that hasn’t changed, he thought, picking up the copy of Wuthering Heights that lay forgotten. Bella loved this spot, right here beneath the large beech tree. Often, she’d take a blanket and a book and sit reading for hours. On one such outing, she must have forgotten the book.

He straightened up and was about to continue on his way when a large breeze rustled the leaves around him.

And there, at the base of the tree, revealed by the displaced leaves, was another book. No, not a book- a diary.

Edward picked it up and stared at it, deliberating. Of course he shouldn’t read it. It was Bella’s, and it was private. For him to read it would be to break her trust, to violate her privacy.

But hadn’t he always wanted to know what thoughts were in her head? Hadn’t he always lamented the fact that he couldn’t tell? He’d been wondering what had changed in her, what had made her more secretive. Here, then, was the key. A window into her mind.

Before he could give himself more time to think and argue with himself, he flipped the journal open and began reading.

The words she’d written took me by surprise
You’d never read them in her eyes

“I never knew it was possible to love someone this much. He’s become a part of me. I feel him all the time. He’s always with me. I wonder what he’s doing, what he’s feeling. I dream of the way things used to be, the way they are now, the way they could be. I’m scared I’ve ruined things.”

“Oh, Bella, you didn’t ruin anything! Needing time isn’t a bad thing. Don’t pull away from me,” he whispered to the diary. He continued reading.

They said that she had found
The love she’d waited for

“He’s the best person I know, which is saying a lot. He’s so kind, so gentle, so giving and so loving. Even though he knew all along that I was unworthy of his love, he gave it all to me. He was always there for me, the light at the end of the tunnel; my rock. The air, the sun. All this time. That’s what I was waiting for. And I found it in him. It was there, in him, all along.”

Edward shut the book, smiling profusely and mulling over all he’d read over in his head.

Wouldn’t you know it
She wouldn’t show it

He knew he was being ridiculous! Thinking Bella was being distant, reserved, secretive; worrying she’d had a change of heart. What a cursed fool he had been!

Still grinning, he put the diary back where it belonged and hid it with leaves.

Suddenly impatient, he ran into the house and called Bella’s name. He spotted her on the couch.

“Hey,” she smiled, getting up.

He strode before her, took her face gently but firmly in his hands, and slanted his lips across hers.

When he finally pulled back, she looked a little dazed. “What was that all about?”

Edward released her face, but pulled her into his arms. “Bella, is something troubling you? Anything you’d like to talk about?”

Moving her head to the side so that her words wouldn’t be muffled by his chest, she said, “No. Why do you ask?”

Edward deliberated for a moment. Should he tell her? He’d like to open a channel of communication between them, but then she might get angry with him for reading something so personal, even if it was about him.

He held back a sigh. “Just asking.” He paused before pulling back and looking into her eyes. “I love you, Isabella Marie Swan.”

Edward tried not to notice that she didn’t correct him on her last name, or how the way she said “I love you, too, Edward,” seemed stinted, somehow.

He’d been doing that a lot lately, trying not to notice things.

But then she tightened her arms around him again and buried her face into his chest, and the troubling thoughts disappeared.

Then she confronted with the writing there
Simply pretended not to care
I passed it off as just in keeping with
Her total disconcerting air

It was two weeks later, and although Edward never went back to read more, he never forgot what he read. He often found himself with a silly smile on his face when he thought of being “her air, her sun.” It always put him in such a free-hearted, unguarded mood. Which proved to be dangerous, that day.

“What are you smiling at?” Bella asked, exasperated. She didn’t truly expect an answer, because each of the thousand times she’d asked previously, he’d just smile bigger and shake his head with a “nothing.”

So imagine her surprise when he actually answered.

“Bella, you are my air, my sun.”

She froze, her mind instantly jumping miles away. She shook herself after a moment, again thankful he couldn’t read her mind.

She was about to respond when she saw the knowing smile on his face. It took her a moment to figure out why.

“You- you read my diary,” she choked out.

The smile faltered, and Edward stepped toward her, then thought better of it.

“I- I did. I just stumbled across it…” he trailed off uncertainly.

“How much did you read?” she asked carefully.

“Not much. Really, Bella. I’m sorry. I just couldn’t help myself. But…” he hesitated. “You should know I wouldn’t be upset. You know you can come to me about anything.”

She blinked once, twice. “What?”

He gathered her into his arms before sitting on the couch. He tugged on her arm and she sat next to him, bewildered. He took both her hands into his.

“Bella, being transformed is a big decision. Of course you might get frightened and need time to think when you’re faced with the real decision and not a distant possibility. You didn’t ruin things by asking for some more time.”

She stared into his eyes, searching. “You really didn’t read much, did you?”

Puzzled, he shook his head. “No.”

She nodded slowly, thinking. Then she straightened her shoulders, looking resolved. “Then maybe you should.”

That was unexpected.

“What?”

“Yeah,” she said nonchalantly with a shrug. She slid her hands from his and stood, stretching. “I’m gonna go take a shower.”

And with that, she was gone.

And though she tried to hide
The love that she denied

After some time of blankly staring at the television, Edward went up to their bedroom quietly.

The door was almost closed, but not completely. Bella’s back was to him, and she was looking at her hands.

“What’ve you got there?”

She jumped at the sound of his voice suddenly beside her, and quickly dropped what she’d been holding.

“You scared me,” she admonished gently, evading his questions.

Edward frowned. “You miss him, don’t you.” It wasn’t a question.

Wouldn’t you know it
She wouldn’t show it

“What? Who are you talking about?” It was a futile attempt, and she knew it.

Still, he humored her. “Him,” he said, gesturing to her wrist.

Bella sighed and looked at her bracelet, gently touching the hand-carved wooden wolf charm on her bracelet. “You could say that,” she said quietly. Then she took a deep breath, looked up at him and smiled. “But it’s nothing.” His gaze didn’t waver, so she tried to switch gears. “So… Have you read any more?”

And as I go through my life
I will give to her, my wife
All the sweet things I can find

Bella had been sitting at the kitchen table reading when a shiny bag stuffed with tissue paper was placed before her. She eyed it suspiciously.

“What’s this?” she asked, glancing at Edward.

He rolled his eyes dramatically. “Just open it!”

She wrinkled her nose at him and stuck her tongue out playfully, but obliged.

It happened so quickly, Edward himself almost missed it. She’d thrown her arms around him with thanks, grabbed his arm, pulled him into the living room, and popped the DVD in, in all of about thirty seconds.

She threw herself on the couch next to him, her face lit up. So into watching Wuthering Heights on the flat screen was she, that she didn’t notice Edward was watching her. For the first time in a while, he felt as if all were well.

That was short-lived, however.

I found her diary underneath a tree
And started reading about me

Bella was out visiting Charlie the day Edward decided to go back to the beech tree and retrieve the diary. After some searching, he found it, and excitedly flopped- oh, if Bella had seen that!- to the ground and began to read.

The words began to stick and tears to flow
Her meaning now was clear to see

“Sometimes, I wonder what would have happened if I never would have jumped off the cliff that day. How different would things have been? Where would I be if Alice had never seen my ‘death’?”

Edward swallowed hard- a human reaction- and looked around. He didn’t know if he liked where this was heading. He took a deep breath and looked back at the diary, continuing to read to himself.

“I miss the warmth he always radiated. My personal sun. I miss it most when I realize just how surrounded I am by the unyielding cold.”

The love she’d waited for
Was someone else, not me

“God, how much I miss Jacob Black.”

Never before had Edward regretted that vampires could not cry. As it was, his body shook, uncontrollable spasms wracking his anything but delicate frame.

All this time. All this time, Bella- his wife- had been in love with Jacob Black.

He threw the book down and ran deep into the woods. When he was far enough in, he let loose.

He clawed at tree trunks, uprooted bushes, snapped twigs the size of small trees and threw them as hard as he could, causing no little damage.

After some time, finally out of steam, the Angel of Destruction collapsed to his knees, head in his hands.

Wouldn’t you know it
She wouldn’t show it

It was all his fault. If he’d never left her, that dog never would have had the opportunity to crawl into her life. He would have been just another Mike Newton- a pitiful slip of a boy that carried too big a torch for her. He never- never- would have gotten the chance to steal her heart away.

He should have expected this. Jacob Black was too large a part of Bella to give up. How many tears had she cried when she hurt him, how many days of sleep did she lose? He remembered, clearly, holding her in her bedroom back at Charlie’s house, with her head buried in his chest, her entire body convulsing with the force of her sobs. He remembered words she’d uttered deep in her sleep- “Jacob, my Jacob”- and the small accompanying smiles.

He should have known. He probably did know. Yet he still pushed the issue of their marriage.

And now, he was paying the price. Bella didn’t want “forever” anymore. Bella wanted a lifetime. A lifetime with Jacob Black.

Yet she hid it. He had no idea it would’ve gotten this far. She never gave a clue to the inner turmoil she was having inside.

Foolish girl! Why didn’t she just tell him? Why did she have to be so… so…

His shoulders slumped. This was getting him nowhere. What was he going to do? Bella wasn’t his anymore. She was Jacob’s now. She had been all along.

Despair threatened to swallow him whole, but there was a part of him that rejoiced. He loved Bella more than anything in the world, and he didn’t want to damn her to this “life.”

And now, he wouldn’t have to. She could- would- be happy in a life with Jacob, where she didn’t have to give anything up.

He did not include himself.

If he had to give Bella up to anyone else, he didn’t think he’d be able to do it. But Jacob Black was the only one worthy of her. He’d proven time and time again, the lengths to which he’d go for her, the girl he loved. He was a good boy- a good man for her. He would make her happy.

With that in mind, he walked back to the tree, picked up the diary, and went into the house.

It was time to have a talk with Bella.

And as I go through my life
I will wish for her, his wife

Edward stood hidden in the shadows of trees, watching with bittersweet happiness as Jacob and Bella were pronounced husband and wife.

As Jacob leaned down for the kiss, Edward’s eyes closed, remembering when that was him up there with her.

Four years later, and he could still remember it as if it were yesterday.

As the newlywed couple proceeded down the aisle, Jacob’s eyes scanned First Beach. Finally, his eyes met with Edward’s, and he nodded almost imperceptibly, as if saying “Thank you.”

Edward stole one last look at Bella’s incandescent smile, and was gone.

All the sweet things she can find
All the sweet things they can find

Edward was parked outside in his new car, windows tinted black, waiting, watching.

At last, his patience was rewarded.

A Volkswagen Rabbit pulled up, and a tall man with long hair pulled back into a pony tail hopped out. He went to the back of the car and popped open the trunk, taking a wheelchair out before slamming it closed.

He walked to the passenger side, the door of which was already opening, and set up the chair.

Finally, after some careful maneuvers, Jacob had settled Bella in the chair. She was smiling, albeit tiredly, and looking down at the bundle in her arms.

There, wrapped in a blue blanket decorated with teddy bears, was a beautiful baby boy with russet skin and chocolate brown eyes.

Inevitable// Chapter 1: Some Things Never Change

2008-10-15T00:29:39Z

Title: Inevitable
Pairing: Bella/Jacob
Rating: PG
Summary: She should have known it would happen eventually. A small part of her always knew she would never deserve to keep him, would never get to keep him. She knew it. It was inevitable.
Author's Notes: So this is a little something I began not too long ago, but haven't worked on in some time. Let me know what you guys think!

“It’s funny how some things never change,” Jacob said, sitting on the roots of the bone white driftwood tree.

“But some things do,” Bella replied softly, gently squeezing his hand.

Tugging her down to sit with him, he laughed. “And thank God for that,” he said, opening his arms for Bella to settle into.

“Thank God for that,” she repeated. Her mind was already a thousand miles away.

She remembered it all so clearly, as if it were yesterday. So much for a human mind being a sieve.

She was standing in front of a full-length mirror, a vision in white. She was trying to make herself believe that she was there, that this was happening. She was about to marry the love of her life, Edward Cullen. So why did she feel so… numb? She loved him, she knew. She always knew she wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of eternity by his side. Didn’t she? So then why was she gazing morosely out of the window at the gray sky?

The gray sky. It’s true that she never gave any thought to her dream wedding like most normal little girls, but if she had, she knew she would have imagined a warm, sunny day. Instead, she was obligated to have it on a day where there was sure to be heavy cloud cover.

As time for the bridesmaids to go down the aisle came, Bella was led outside by her father. Now that her vision was unhindered by being inside, she continued to contemplate the sky.

She really wished it could be sunny. The sun had been her constant companion for years. She had lived in Phoenix, Arizona, for goodness sake! She loved the light it provided, the warmth it shed onto her skin…

And that’s when she realized what she was doing: giving up a life of the sun and warmth for an eternity of the moon and cold. She looked at the arch under which Edward was standing and for a moment, saw Jake there instead.

A moan snapped Bella out of it, and she saw Alice sink to the floor, head in her hands. She knew what it meant.

The decision was made.

Suddenly, Edward was standing before her.

“Go,” he said softly.

“Edward, I-” she began, only to be cut off.

“I know. It’s okay,” he said, but the look in his eyes belied him, filled with ancient pain as they were. “Go to him, Bella. Choose life.”

And so she ran. She didn’t know where she was going, but she ran as fast and as hard as she could.

It wasn’t until she got there that she realized she’d been heading there all along.

She stared at the little red house for a long time before reality finally settled in.

Jake wasn’t here. She didn’t know where he was. He had run away.

Lost and dejected, and completely confused by this turn of events, Bella made her way to the beach. She sat on the tree- their tree- and dropped her head into her hands.

“Huh. It looks like the sun finally won the battle with the clouds.”

Bella’s head shot up at the sound of the familiar, husky voice. She looked up at him, squinting her eyes against the sudden onslaught of sunlight. It wasn’t until later that she would understand and appreciate the double meaning of his words.

“Jake?”

“Yeah, Bella. It’s me.”

Suddenly, Bella lurched up and wrapped her arms around his neck, squeezing him as hard as she could.

“Welcome home,” she whispered, letting the tears fall freely down her face.

“There’s no place like it,” he replied, pulling her even closer and burying his face into her hair.

And though it wasn’t said aloud, they both knew the home they were talking about- and it wasn’t La Push.

She Knew

2008-09-27T06:35:36Z

Title: She Knew

Author: delicatevenom

Pairing: Bella/Jacob
Word Count: 459

Rating: PG

Author’s Notes: I was looking through old things I wrote when I found a short piece titled She Knew. Reading through it, I realized it would make a good Bella/Jacob oneshot. So I changed a few things to make it fit, and this was the product. I hope you like =]

It was the beginning of summer, and the day was warm. A young woman in her early twenties sat on a decaying bench. The green paint was chipped and there were nicks in the wood that would pierce clothing and skin alike if one wasn’t careful. Her legs were crossed at the ankles and tucked beneath the bench. The sun was slightly burning her milky skin, and the light breeze whispered through her hair. Her jaw was set, willing the premature tears away. He could’ve asked her here for anything.

But she knew.

She impatiently brushed away the sole tear brave enough to make its way down her face, and breathed in a slow, shaky breath. He was coming.

His smile, a bit too bright, was belied by the sad look in his eyes. His warm brown eyes that could always make her days brighter, her load a little less heavy. But they wouldn’t today.

She knew.

He greeted her unusually, with merely a nod and a hoarse hello. At her offer, he sat next to her. He said he hadn’t much time, but he took her small, delicate hands into his own sculptured and calloused ones, and placed them in his lap. He looked at her, ready as he would ever be, to tell her the news that would most certainly break her. It was all written there in his eyes.

She knew.

And he explained, surprised but thankful that she spilled no tears. He told her how exactly it happened. He’d just went to Seattle to get a wedding gift for Sam and Emily. He found something he wanted to purchase, and went to the cash register to pay. That’s when his world shifted.

She knew.

He apologized a final time, his eyes blurred and shiny with unshed tears. He left a lingering kiss on her cheek and turned his back on her. He walked away. From her, from… everything.

She knew.

Her hand went up to caress the skin his lips had touched. It felt as if it were on fire. She kept her hand there, in a daze, watching his retreating back. And she cried. Not a sound escaped her, but she cried for all she was worth, her chest heaving and shoulders shaking with the sobs that so mercilessly wracked her body.

No longer able to watch the only man she loved- would ever love- walking away, she looked at her feet and laid a hand on her still flat stomach in a protective gesture. She didn’t see him turn around as he reached the trees. She didn’t see the surprised look on his face as he saw her movement. He looked at her hand. Her stomach. He choked on his tears.

He knew.

Drabble

2008-09-13T07:17:09Z

Title: Dreams
Pairing: Bella/Jacob
Word Count: 100
Rating: G
Authors Note: This is actually my first Twilight drabble, and it's three in the morning right now, so go easy on me :-P

He took her in his arms and spun her around, his face lit up in laughter. She giggled and squealed, wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her cheek to his.

“I love you, Bells,” he whispered.

She stood on her tiptoes and pulled his head down to hers so that she could press her lips to his.

“I love you, too. Forever and always,” she replied.

Bella awoke with a start, and Edward looked at her questioningly.

She shook her head and blinked hard, against both the tears and the remaining image of Jacob.

The wedding was tomorrow.

Vulnerable (Part Two)

2008-08-15T02:01:29Z

Title: Vulnerable (Part Two)

Author: DelicateVenom

Pairing: Bella/Jacob

Challenge: Write a one-shot for each song on Secondhand Serenade's CD "Awake".

Time frame: New Moon

Rating: PG

Author's notes: This is part two! If you've not read the first part, please click here.

And I know you may be scared

And I know we're unprepared

But I don't care

I don't think either of us was prepared for what happened next. Suddenly, Bella was pressing herself against me, knotting her hands in my hair and pulling my face closer to her, kissing me with bruising force. Something seemed weird, but she was kissing me, she was responding, and God, that was all that mattered. I didn't care about anything but the fact that she was pulling me closer, as if she couldn't get enough of me.

Tell me, tell me

What makes you think that you are invincible?

I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure

Just as quickly as it began, it stopped. She pulled herself away from me, eyes wide and mouth slightly open.

"Jake, I'm sorry. I can't."

"Bella, you can. You did," I said, frustrated.

"No, Jacob! Don't you see? I can't love anymore, not in the way you want me to. I'm not capable of it anymore," she said firmly.

If only I knew where the hell that leech was, I would go and find him and kill him myself, with my bare hands. Screw the wolf form. I hated him more than anything. Possibly even more than I loved Bella. I hated what he did to her. She was so sure she didn't have the capacity to love anymore, that he took it away from her. I knew that she could love me like that. That she did, but she wouldn't allow herself to realize it. But sooner or later, she would. Despite whatever she thought, she wasn't invincible. She would love again.

Please don't tell me that I'm the only one that's vulnerable

Impossible

I just didn't know how to get through to her. I've laid my heart out for her to see. I've given her everything I could possibly give. So here I was, completely vulnerable to her, to whatever she did. Whether she stayed, or whether she walked away.

Her face looked odd, though. Dozens of emotions played across her face, so quickly that I couldn't figure one out before the next one began. So she was feeling something, too. But in this situation, it was impossible to feel nothing. So, I waited her out.

I was born to tell you I love you

Isn’t that a song already?

I get a B in originality

When would she finally understand that I was the natural path her life would have taken? If there were no such thing as vampires and werewolves, and just humans like there were supposed to be, she and I would have ended up together. She was the one for me. I was born to be the one who would love her in the way she needed to be loved.

And it’s true I can’t go on without you

Your smile makes me see clearer

If you could only see in the mirror what I see

When I closed my eyes, she was all I saw. I couldn’t get away from her. I think about her every second of every minute of every day. When I’m angry, her smile makes me calm again. She doesn’t understand the power she has over me. I wish she could see herself the way I do- what she truly is.

And your slow shaking fingertips show

That you’re scared like me so

Let’s pretend we’re alone

And I know you may be scared

And I know we’re unprepared

But I don’t care

She was shaking again. Her body trembled, as if under a great amount of pressure. Her face was pained as she went through everything in her head. Still, she looked resolved on things staying the same.

Tell me, tell me

What makes you think that you are invincible?

I can see it in your eyes that you’re so sure

Please don’t tell me that I’m the only one that’s vulnerable

Impossible

She looked up at me now, and I knew the words she would speak. My eyes stung, and she opened her mouth to say them.

Slow down girl

You're not going anywhere

"I have to go," she whispered. She moved passed me and lunged at the door.

I had to stop her. I had no other choice. I wouldn't let her walk out on me, maybe even out of my life, without her acknowledging how she felt. I needed her to know. So I grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

"No, Bella. Stay."

She swallowed heavily and looked at me through anxious eyes. Something she saw in my face made her shoulders drop. She nodded, and moved back to me.

Just wait around and see

Maybe I'm much more

You never know what lies ahead

"Bella, just give it a chance. Give us a chance. You never know what could happen, Bells. You could grow to love me, just like I love you." She winced, but I pushed on firmly. "You would be safe with me. You would be happy, too. I wouldn't ever leave you. I can give you so much more, Bella. Just let me."

She closed her eyes, and I could tell that she was fighting back tears. Her hands, before lying limply by her sides, balled into fists. She threw her head back and looked up at the ceiling, blinking furiously. After a moment or two, she looked at me and opened her mouth to speak.

I promise I can be anyone

I can be anything

"Jake, I can't. We're not good for each other."

"Why are you lying to yourself, Bella?" My voice was too loud in the small space, and she cringed. "We're perfect for each other. What is it you need that you think I can't give you? I'll give you anything, Bella. Who do you need me to be? Or what do you need me to be? Anything you want, Bella. I'll do anything, be anything for you. So tell me what the hell I should be doing!"

Just because you were hurt doesn't mean you shouldn't bleed

I can be anyone, anything

I promise I can be what you need

"I've tried so hard," she began, voice husky from the tears she was holding back, "so hard to be normal, after he left. I tried to act as if everything was okay, because I didn't want to hurt anyone."

I cut her off before she could continue. "He hurt you, Bella. It's only natural that you wouldn't be normal. Your heart was broken, and there's no shame in that. No sense in trying to hide it, especially since you did a terrible job at it."

"I..." She bit her lip, and stayed quiet.

"Tell me what it is you need, Bella," I said, voice low. "I promise, whatever you need from me, I'll give to you. Just please, Bella, please realize you love me, too."

Tell me, tell me

What makes you think that you are invincible?

I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure

Please don't tell me that I'm the only one that's vulnerable

Impossible

And so there it was, laid out on the table. I was even more vulnerable then before. I gave her the key and the option to either take it or throw it back in my face along with it. The only thing left to do was wait and see what she did with it.

The silence lasted so long, and the tension was so thick in the room. Part of me wanted her to just spit it out already, but another part was fine waiting- it would take that much longer for my world to fall apart.

"Jake... I'm so lost," she whispered. "I don't know what to do."

"Do what you want, Bella. Forget about everything else. What is it you want? For me to leave you alone? If that's what you need..." I couldn't even finish the sentence. Luckily, I didn't have to.

"No, Jake, no! I don’t want that. I couldn't be without you." She paused, gathering her courage. "At the battle, when you got hurt... It took me almost losing you- at least in my head- to realize it. I think I always knew." She took a deep breath and looked at me sternly before continuing. "But you have to understand something, Jacob. I'm damaged goods. I've been hurt before, and I don't know how much I have left to give. You deserve to have someone who can give you a lot more than I can, who could be everything you need her to be. You deserve a hell of a lot more than me, which is why I was so reluctant to... to tell you how I feel. It made me feel selfish, somehow." Again, she paused. "I don't know how much I have to give you," she repeated. "But I can promise that whatever I do have, I will give it all to you."

"Oh, Bells," I whispered. I quickly closed the little space between us and crushed my lips to hers. "I love you, Isabella Swan. More than life itself."

"Jacob, I need you in my life. I knew it, but I didn't realize to what extent. I can't live without you. You patched me up and made me feel when I never thought I would again. I don't want you to think you're second best, because you're not. Even if he came back, I would choose you. I think in some ways, it's always been you."

"Are you sure that this is what you want, Bella?" I asked, scarcely able to believe it. I could've hit myself after the words were out of my mouth. What if she said no?

"I'm positive. Don't get me wrong; I will always love Edward. But he is my past. You, Jacob Black, are my future, if you would have me."

"Forever and always," I confirmed, wrapping my arms around her.

She broke the seriousness of the conversation by laughing.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"I can't believe it's taken me this long to figure it out. Sorry about that." She laughed and kissed my shoulder, which was as high as she could reach.

"It's okay, Bells. I understand. And I know that you'll always love... Edward-"

"I'm sorry. I know that must bother you."

I paused for a second. "No, actually, it doesn't." At her incredulous look, I explained. "It's only natural. He was your first love, and he left a big mark on you. But, strange as this may sound, I'm thankful to him. If it weren't for him, who knows how things with us would have been?"

She nodded, and hugged me closer. I leaned down to whisper in her ear.

"I want to kiss you, Bella."

With a smile, she replied, "I want you to kiss me, too."

And so I did. This time, it was full of meaning, full of promise. I knew that there was no going back for either of us now. And I knew neither of us wanted to, or would ever want to. Isabella Swan was finally mine. I felt like running around and yelling my joy at the top of my lungs.

Unfortunately, the blissful kiss did not last long. The door to my room banged open so hard that it ricochet off the wall and went to close again. A foot stopped the progress, and a hand pushed it open again and held it there.

"About damn time!"

"Finally!"

"Now we don't have to pine after Bella when we're morphed anymore!"

"Not pining, no." With a smile, Sam continued, "But that doesn't mean he'll be thinking of her any less. In fact, it'll probably be worse now," he teased.

The pack groaned, but grinned. They all stated their congratulations, and I stood with my arm around Bella proudly, grinning as well.

"I guess you're a wolf girl now, huh?" Emily asked, gently squeezing Bella's hand.

Bella sighed dramatically. "Well, I guess I wasn't a good cook for nothing!"

Everyone laughed, but Paul looked up thoughtfully. "Ya know, I am kinda hungry..."

"When aren't you hungry, Paul?" Jared asked rhetorically.

"Food does sound kind of good right now," I admitted with a laugh.

"Well then, Emily," Bella said with a smile, "let's get to work."

Vulnerable (Part One)

2008-08-15T01:53:08Z

Title: Vulnerable (Part One)

Author: DelicateVenom

Pairing: Bella/Jacob

Challenge: Write a one-shot for each song on Secondhand Serenade's CD "Awake".

Time frame: New Moon

Rating: PG

Author's notes: This IS a oneshot, but it had to be split in two because it was too long for LJ. So don't forget to immediately proceed to part 2! So this is slightly AU, I suppose, as it ignores everything about Edward's return and changes certain facts that proceed afterwards. Anyhoo, I'm pretty proud of this one. For all you Team Jacob's out there, I hope you enjoy! For all the Team Edward's, well... I'm gonna go hide now.

Share with me the blankets that you're wrapped in

Because it's cold outside, cold outside, it's cold outside

It all began from the first time I saw her. She was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. She was sort of tiny, with such pale skin and dark hair. I recognized her instantly. Bella Swan.

I was flattered that day on the beach when she asked me to walk with her, and she flirted with me. Now I know that it was a ruse, an act to get me to tell her just why her precious Edward wasn't allowed on La Push. I still find it funny that I, of all people, was the one to tell her that he and the entire Cullen family were vampires.

Despite that knowledge, though, she went on loving him. She thought he was the best thing that ever graced this earth. She'd made him her life, and when he walked out on her, she was broken. I remember the day she came to the house. I'd heard the familiar roar of the old pick-up truck, and I hardly believed it. But when I saw her there... I was elated. I had been harboring a massive crush on her, and here she was, on my doorstep, wanting to spend time with me.

She wasn't the way I'd remembered, though, the way she'd been on that beach the first time I'd saw her. She looked broken. She tried hard to hide it, though, but that only made it more painful to see. It still kills me to remember how she used to fold her arms over her stomach, as if that was the only thing keeping her together, keeping her from tearing apart at the seams.

I wondered if she would ever smile again. I vowed to make her, no matter what it took. Surprisingly, it took little. Around me, she lit up, smiled, and laughed. Mind, she was still hurt, but I knew that somehow, I helped her heal when she was around me. Apparently, though, when she was alone, it was a totally different story. So I tried to leave her alone as little as possible, taking her under my wing, protecting her from the dangers that lay outside the shelter of our little bubble.

Before I knew it, I was in love with her. Probably the worst thing I could have done, given her situation. I mean, she was in love with a vampire who, as a werewolf, was my mortal enemy. As if that wasn't enough ammo, I hated the guy for hurting her. I still don't understand what the hell could have possessed him to leave her. I knew I never would.

Share with me the secrets that you kept in

Because it's cold inside, cold inside, it's cold inside

It was difficult, in the beginning. When I had my first transformation and was told I couldn't tell Bella, or even be around her, it was the worst. I was dangerous. I could snap, lose control, and bam, just like that, leave her all scarred like Emily. With me, I was a danger to her. Without me, she was a danger to herself. And I couldn't even tell her that, because I was under orders not to. The weight of Sam's orders was heavy on my shoulders.

She tried calling me about a bajiliion times. Billy kept telling her I was out, and she was getting more frequent in her calls, and eventually, he just stopped picking up. Then, she decided to come here and stake out my house, waiting for me to arrive.

I hated myself for causing her pain. Just days ago, I'd promised her that I would always be there for her. My goal was to heal her wounds, make her forget about that leech. But here I was, causing wounds of my own, rejecting her yet again. I wasn't sure how I would be able to sleep at night.

I wasn't.

That night, I'd went to her house and lurched through her window, ready to demand her to remember the stories I'd told her on the beach that day about my ancestors, the Quileutes. I did, but she was tired and groggy, and couldn't remember anything. It hadn't surprised me- of course she would only remember that story, about "the Cold Ones". Figures.

But the next day she came to La Push, and I could instantly tell that she knew. From then on, I kept no secrets from her, and I don't think she kept any from me, either. We were fully in each other's confidences, and I was free to pursue her the way I wanted to, now. No more secrets, no more games. Just me and her. The werewolf and the human girl he was hopelessly in love with.

I'll never forget the way we began. Or, at least, the way that she realized there was something to begin. It had taken a lot of hard work on my part to get to this point. She had loved that bloodsucker with everything she had, and he'd taken it for granted and shattered it into pieces. But slowly and surely, I'd put them back together. She was reluctant at first. She knew how broken she was, and she believed that I deserved someone... whole, someone who could give me more than she could. She didn't understand that I didn't want anything but what she could give me. She was determined to think of us as only friends. But sooner or later, she had to figure out she loved me. And from the moment she did, there was no turning back.

It was after the battle with that crazy vamp chick, Victoria. She'd created a little coven of her own to fight us with. I say created, and I mean that literally. They weren't nomads that she picked up along the way. They were humans that she'd changed with the sole purpose of fighting us to get to Bella. There weren't many, and they were new to that life, so they had no idea we existed. Thankfully, this gave us an advantage- or at least evened up the playing field a little, because Bella had warned us newborns were stronger than even the strongest of vampires- Emmett included. She'd winced when she said his name. I knew how hard this was for her, but she was being strong. She was the one who had said, one day at Emily and Sam's house when we were talking about the mass murders in Seattle, that it sounded a lot like what she imagined newborns would do. I think she meant it in an off-hand way, but we took her seriously. We began to realize just what we were up against.

And so the strategic meeting started. How many leeches had Victoria created? It seemed like an awful lot of trouble, but given what we'd learned about the wild female, we were almost certain that Bella had been right. She was shocked, and more than a little freaked when we started planning ways to take the bloodsuckers down. I'd put my arm around her then, and she looked up at me and smiled. My heart stuttered, and then beat double-time.

There were about seven of them, and then there was Victoria. There were eight of us, ten including Sam and I. Sam was the Alpha, but I was the best fighter. So it was a pretty even fight. We had a mixture of newbies and experienced fighters on our side to deal with the newborn leeches, who they outnumbered. And then, for the more experienced Victoria, there was Sam and I. I'd wanted to take her on by myself. I felt that this was my personal battle. She wanted to kill the girl I was in love with, and I was the only thing standing in her way. I would take her down myself; I would see to it that she would never come close to Bella again. But Sam told me not to be stupid, to not let my emotions get in the way. I was a good fighter, but not good enough to take on someone like Victoria on by myself and live to tell the tale. Besides, he'd told me when I was still reluctant, think of Bella. She would be destroyed if something happened to you, and something definitely would if you tried to take her on your own. If I was helping you, there would be less of a chance of major injuries- or lasting ones, anyway. I had known he was right, and I knew, like he probably did, that I would eventually concede. But once he said that, I immediately agreed that it was logical to accept his help. He would have fought with me anyway, but I guess he was trying to make me acknowledge the advantages beforehand.

Things seemed to be going well during the battle. Sam and I had successfully led Victoria away from the protection of her little protégées, and now it was just the three of us and Bella, stuffed into a cave for protection. We had waited for the fighting to begin to allow Victoria a glimpse of Bella. When she did, I raised an eyebrow (or, at least I think I did. Did wolves have eyebrows?), turned, and ran as fast as I could with Bella on my back, to the spot where Sam was waiting. He took Victoria on while I got Bella safely into the cave, and then we fought.

I won't lie; it was still too close for my liking. This female was smart. She pushed us as far as we could go. But little by little, Sam and I were winning. We learned quickly, seeing what was and was not successful for the pack as they fought. Although I was focused on Victoria, I was still worried for the rest of them. Little Seth, for instance. Just fourteen years old, fighting for his life. At that moment, he was taking on a vampire more than twice the size of his human self, and had barely missed the kick aimed at his jaw. I winced.

Sam and I continued our little dance with the female, one distracting, one tearing. Sam had received a gash on his shoulder and he limped a bit, but he was okay. I was still unscathed, though not for long.

When I saw through the minds of the pack that they had won and were all alive, I felt relieved. A few of us were injured, but nothing that a day or two wouldn't fix. I was happy for them, but I pushed their celebrations out of my head in order to re-focus on my battle. I felt Sam do the same.

That's where we went wrong.

It was Seth who saw the newborn sneaking out from his hiding place, heading in our direction. He tried to warn us, but by the time we heard him, it was too late. I had just bit into Victoria's neck, ready to end the fight, when the newborn came from nowhere and got his arms around me. The worst thing that could have happened. I felt my ribs shattering, and I couldn't breathe. Sam was still battling Victoria, and I was quickly losing my strength.

"Jacob!"

Until then, I hadn't lost hope. But Bella had emerged from the cave, thinking the battle was over (anyone could hear the victorious howling from the pack miles away), and of course, Victoria spotted her. Bella didn't even spare her a glance, though, as her horrified eyes stared at me. She began to move towards me, to do what I don't know, when Seth barreled out from the trees and viciously attacked the newborn crushing me. Screeching in pain, the newborn dropped me and turned to fight Seth. In a moment of cowardice, I closed my eyes. I couldn't see Seth lose to the newborn, and I couldn't see the end of Sam, and I certainly couldn't see... But I couldn't even think it. I felt so hopeless, lying there, unable to move and unable to shut out the thoughts in my head.

I realize now I wasn't thinking clearly, but I guess that was to be expected. Although Sam and I had shut our minds down to everything but our battle, the others hadn't. They had gotten Seth's warning, and it was only seconds later that they arrived to where we were at. Quickly, they tore into the newborn and Victoria.

Bella was already at my side, crying uncontrollably. "Jacob! Stay with me! C'mon, Jake, open your eyes. Bark at me or something!"

If I could have, I would have laughed at that, although the situation was far from funny. I hated to be causing her worry, so I tried to open my eyes, but found I couldn't. I felt so weak, and the pain was so strong. I couldn't find the correct muscles to use to open my eyes.

"Bella, we need to-" Quil began.

"No! Jacob Black! You get up this instant. You are NOT going to leave me like this. I love you. Do you hear me? So get the HELL up!" I froze. I couldn't believe it. So this is what it took for her to finally realize, huh? It figures.

"Um... Bella?" It was Seth. "He's not gonna die or anything. He's fine, just in pain. He tried to open his eyes, but he couldn't. And he can hear you..."

Silence for a moment. And then a faint, "Oh." She cleared her throat. "Well, then. Carry on."

And your slow, shaking fingertips show

That you're scared like me so

Let's pretend we're alone

And now, a week later, I'm completely healed. She hasn't mentioned anything about her proclamation, and I haven't, either. I'm not sure how to approach the subject, and I'll admit that a part of me is afraid to. So here we are, in my house that is way too crowded with half the pack here, acting as if everything is normal. But it's not. Now that she's realized, nothing will go back to normal. Everything has changed. Even so, we still try.

"Paul, would you leave some food in my fridge? We're not made of money, you know," I said.

"Sorry, man," he grinned, not looking sorry at all.

"Bella, you okay?" Emily asked. I looked over to see Bella looking a little pained.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just got a little headache."

I frowned. "You wanna go to my room and lay down for a bit? Get some fresh air and at least a little quiet," I asked, smiling gently.

"I think that's a good idea."

"C'mon," I said, and grabbed her hand. I led her to my room, where she sat on the bed. I moved to the window and yanked it up as far as it could go before turning back to her. Now would be as good a time as any, and frankly, if I waited any longer, I was going to go crazy.

"Bella..." How to bring it up?

"Yeah, Jake?"

I gritted my teeth, preparing to just spit it out. "About the day of the battle. You said you loved me."

"I do love you, Jake. You're my best friend."

"No, that's not... Not what I meant," I sighed, running my fingers through my hair.

"Oh," she said softly. "Jake, I..."

"Bella, you need to move on. He's not coming back. But I'm here, and I've never hurt you. I will never, either. And I'm healthier for you than he is, Bella. Think about it. You and I, we could grow old together-"

"You couldn't. I'm the only one who gets old around here," she muttered bitterly.

"I could, Bella. Once I gave up my wolf form, I would age again."

"But you wouldn't, would you? Give up your wolf form, I mean."

"If it made you happy."

That seemed to bring her up short. She stayed silent.

"So imagine that, Bella. You and I, sitting around on a bench in La Push, watching our grandchildren playing. You wouldn't have to give that up with me. Or Renee or Charlie, or the rest of your friends. I can give you more than he can, Bella."

"Jake... I still love him. You deserve someone who can-"

I kissed her. I couldn't help it. And it was a useful way to silence her. She stood stock still, and I began to worry that it wasn't the smartest thing I could've done.

Pulling back I looked at her, searching. Her hands were shaking, and her breathing was erratic.

"Jake... Everyone is outside..."

"So? Ignore them. It's just me and you right now, Bella. Just the two of us." Slowly, giving her time to pull away if she wanted to, I bent my head down, seeking her lips.

As first, she didn't respond. But then, her arms were wrapping around my neck, and I could feel them trembling. She was scared, probably just as much as I was.

Part Two

Half Alive (Bella/Edward)

2008-08-15T01:44:19Z

Title: Half Alive

Author: DelicateVenom

Pairing: Bella/Edward

Challenge: Write a one-shot for each song on Secondhand Serenade's CD "Awake".

Time frame: Post-Eclipse

Rating: PG

Author's notes: Okay, so I'm kind of iffy on this piece. I like some of it, other parts are eh. But as I've stuck with the lyrics word for word- or at least line for line, as I changed the female subject in the lyrics to the male- I feel as if I've done pretty well. I hope you enjoy! Feedback is appreciated =]

It's four AM, I'm waking up to your perfume

Don't get up, I'll get through on my own

Fire. That's all she's felt for the past- how long has it been? Day? Two days? Two weeks? Maybe less, maybe even two hours. She can't remember, she doesn't know. Time has no meaning for her here, where her body is burning like fire in her veins. She just knows that it's been long- too long. She wishes it would just end now. She's tired of the effort it takes her to be silent through the pain, so as not to worry Edward. If he knew how much pain... he'd never forgive himself.

But even as she thinks this through, she realizes she doesn't feel the pain so much anymore. Whether that's because the pain is fading or because she's just grown strong enough to bare it, she doesn't know.

She doesn't realize that the fact that she's capable of any coherent thought means the transformation is nearly complete. She could only think about Edward, how he'd always been there for her. Even now, he stayed with her. She could smell that scent that was so distinctly Edward.

So lost was she in this pleasent turn her thoughts had taken that she relaxed herself a bit too much. The molten lava that was the venom-laced blood in her veins suddenly reached a new intensity- or perhaps it felt that way only because she let her guard down- and she gasped in pain, winced, and whimpered. The sharp intake of breath had hurt her throat, which burned just like the rest of her body.

He was there in a flash. "Bella? Bella, love, are you okay?" His voice broke on the last word, and she longed to speak to him and assure him that she was fine, but she was not, and therefore could not.

She falls back into darkness.

I don't know if I'm home or if I lost my way into your room

I'm spiraling into my doom

She emerges from the black abyss, more sluggish than before. The pain had helped her focus turn sharp before, but now it just served to hinder.

The pain. Why was she in pain? Where was she?

Then it hit her. Victoria must have gotten to her. This was the promised pain Laurent had told her about. Victoria got to her, and Edward... What about Edward? Was he still alive? Had he and Seth been inevitably beaten by Riley and his hate-driven creator?

But it couldn't be. Someone was holding her hand, and surely Victoria wouldn't feel the need to comfort the enemy she'd spent months planning to kill as she lay dying, tortured to death by Victoria's own hands.

But the hands... They weren't cold, the way Edward's should have been. They were warm. Jacob's? Had she dreamed the past few months, and she was still best friends with Jake, getting into trouble and taking trips to the ER after accidents on her motorcycle?

But no. The hands, though not cold, were not that warm, either. They felt the same temperature as hers. Charlie? Renee?

"It should be very soon now, Edward. Have faith," she heard someone say. It sounded like Carslile.

"I know, I know. I just can't... I hate to see her in pain." The tortured whisper came from her left side, and the hand that held hers squeezed gently.

It all came rushing back to her. She was with Edward, in his room and on his bed, safe. She was in pain because the venom, Edward's venom, was doing its job, turning her into an immortal.

She could almost feel happy, but she couldn't find enough energy to feel anything but the pain. Soon, Carslile had said. Soon.

I'm feeling half alive

But I know one day you and I will be free

To live and die by our own rules

Free

Despite the fact that men are fools

How soon was soon enough? She wouldn't be surprised if all that was left of her was a piece of charred bone, the fire was so relentless in it's quest to kill her. But her heart was still beating, though it was futile. Soon.

What would it be like when it was finally over, when she was a vampire? She would finally belong to the family she had chosen, in an irrevocable way. She'd never have to hide from danger, afraid of weakness. She'd be just as strong, and she would never have to leave Edward's side, or he leave hers. Never again would they shy away from people like James or Victoria. Her family wouldn't have to put their lives on the line for her again. They would never face the danger of death on her account again.

If she could have, she would have smiled. There were definitely sacrifices she had to make to get to this point. For instance, leaving behind Charlie and Renee, and all her friends. But she could do it, so long as Edward was by her side. Things would be good. He was a fool to not agree to it sooner. So much time... But it didn't matter anymore. They had all the time in the world now.

I'm almost alive

And I need you to try and save me

She was lost in her thoughts again. Because of this, she almost didn't notice when the pressure of the fire seemed to weaken. It must almost be over. Almost alive or almost dead, depending on the way you looked at it.

All of a sudden, her heart was on fire. Involuntarily, she heaved a broken sob, and Edward's grasp on her hand tightened. She'd almost forgotten he was there by now.

Her heart begain to pick up speed. Thump thump... thump thump... thump thump, thump thump, thump thupm thump thump...

Something was wrong. It shouldn't be this way. Shouldn't her heart be slowing? Why was it racing now? The fire began to envelope her, and all she could hear, all she could feel through the pain was the dangerously, furiously quick pumping of her heart.

Something went wrong, and she was going to die. Not the way she had planned to die, either- she wouldn't be reborne as another species. She was going to die, and never come back. The fire was gripping her heart in a vice-like grip.

Why wasn't Edward doing anything? Surely he could hear her heart, surely he would know something was wrong! He had to do something, anything. Inject more venom in her, prolong the days in pain- just save her!

It's okay that we're dying

But I need to survive tonight, tonight

She wasn't ready to die, not like this. She knew her heart would stop beating once she became a vampire. She knew it and accepted it. But she wasn't ready to leave this world forever. Die for Edward, to spend the rest of eternity with him, yes, of course. But not this. She needed to survive this night, survive so she could wake up the next morning and be what she was always meant to be.

Then, the words that fill her with relief are spoken. "It's okay, Bella. It'll be over soon. Just hang on."

Well excuse me while I get killed softly

Heart slows down, and I can hardly tell you I'm okay

At least 'til yesterday

Her heart had been going so fast that she could hardly keep up with the beats, but suddenly it stuttered and came to a halt.

Silence, so anxious, so frightened, it was almost palpable.

Thump... thump...

And there it goes again. But it was weaker now, and it would only be a matter of time before it stopped completely, forever.

"Bella? Bella! Can you hear me? Talk to me, love." It was Edward, who sounded so needlessly worried.

She tried to open her mouth to say she was okay, but she couldn't. It wasn't over yet, and she couldn't speak.

You know you got me off my highest guard

Believe me when I say it's hard

"You can do this, Bella. I'm right here, and I always will be."

The words sent a wave of peace through her, and she relaxed just a little. Just a little, but it was enough.

White-hot metal knives pierced into every inch of her skin, turned her inside out. She shrieked in agony.

God, but it hurt.

"Bella, Bella, I'm so sorry, so sorry, Bella. I'm sorry," he cried over and over, like a mantra. He released her hand, as if believing she would resent his touch after the pain he inflicted.

Inwardly, Bella cursed herself. She'd been weak at the worst moment, and let him hear what she'd tried so hard to keep to herself.

We'll get through this tonight

And I know one day you and I will be free

To live and die by our own rules

Free

Despite the fact that men are fools

She could do it. She could endure this. A few more minutes of pain in exchange for eternity of happiness with Edward? She could do it, and she wouldn't let Edward know how much pain she was in again. He would feel resposible for it, the fool. It wasn't his fault, didn't he know that?

I'm almost alive

And I need you to try and save me

It's okay that we're dying

But I need to survive tonight, tonight

It felt like hours, but it had been only seconds. Her heart still beat, growing weaker with every breath she took. Soon, she would be dead. At least, in the human sense of the word. Soon...

And you touch my hand ever so slightly

Boy we're not ready for this yet

Tentatively, he laid his hand over hers at Carslile's assurance that she wanted and needed his support. He seemed unsure of himself, though, and she hated that.

She had been ready for this. She'd assumed that he would be, too, once he got over the whole soul thing. But maybe she was wrong. Maybe he'd never gotten over it, or maybe it was something else all together that he never told her about. Why else would he be so hesitant? He wasn't ready for this. And if he wasn't ready for it, then they, as the single entity they were, weren't ready for it. How could she have been so stupid?

And the deadly look he cast upon me

I won't regret, I won't regret

I won't regret

She was quickly distracted from this emotional pain, though whether mercifully or not was another question, as physical pain gripped her. A firey hand seemed to reach through her back and to try to crush her heart. She arched off the bed, eyes opening in surprise, and caught a glimpse of Edward's face.

He looked so... pained, so haunted, so... dead.

The pain faded, and she slumped back onto the bed, eyes closed. He was scared, that was all, she tried to convince herself. He'd be fine, once this nightmare was over. She wouldn't regret this decision. And neither would he, once she was able to convince him it was worth it. Once she convinced him that she was worth it, if he still wanted to be convinced. And he would, wouldn't he? Even though he'd just witnessed how weak she was, crying because of a little pain?

I won't regret

It would be fine. She had to believe that. There was no other option.

She thought back to when they first met, when she was convinced that he hated her, and consequently tried to avoid him at all costs.

And I was trying to disappear

But you've got me wrapped around you

I can hardly breathe without you

She had tried to avoid any reason to make him notice her existance. When he had come back after he'd run to the Denali family, she'd not looked at him (or, at least, when she knew he would notice) all through biology, instead moving her hair to the side to form a screen between them. She'd even mapped out the speediest way to exit the room so that she would be ready when class ended. And it was all for nothing, because that very day, he spoke to her.

I was trying to disappear

But I got lost in your eyes now

You've brought me down to size now

She was shocked at first, of course. She froze, wondering if she had imagined it. When it was clear that she hadn't and that he was waiting for a response, she looked into his eyes, and promptly lost herself in them. (Since their relationship progressed and she'd explanied this to him, the fact that he "dazzled" her, as she called it, was an endless source of amusement for him.) He was beautiful, and sitting next to him, she felt so insignificant. Why was this God-like creature deigning to speak to her?

But now, she would be beautiful, too. She would be able to stand by his side, and feel as if she belonged there.

I'm almost alive

And I need you to try and save me

It's okay that we're dying

But I need to survive tonight, tonight

Tonight

It was so close she could almost taste it. Everything she had been waiting for would be hers once she opened her eyes. So close, almost there.

Thump... thump...

I'm almost alive

And I need you to try and save me

It's okay that we're dying

But I need to survive tonight, tonight

Her heart was struggling now. It was a laberous task to take in even a single breath, and when she did, it was shaky.

Thump... thump...

Soon.

I need to survive tonight, tonight

Edward placed his palm on her cheek and kissed her hand.

Thump... thump...

"Bella? Hang on, honey. I'm right here."

Thump...

"It's almost over, Edward. It won't be long now," Carslile murmured.

It won't be long, indeed. Seconds later, her heart gave its final beat.

Silence, as they waited for the beat that wouldn't come. And then, noise.

"Bella? Bella, my love, it's over. Come back to me. Come back." He squeezed her hand.

A moment later, she squeezed back.

SS/HG Poem

2007-10-24T22:40:43Z

Being a spy with a dangerous role

Never letting anyone see his soul

He kept his secrets hidden inside

Never had anyone to whom to confide

In the past, he made a mistake he’d never forget

And until his dying day he will regret

He tries to make up for what he did wrong

If he dies, he’ll bring the Dark Lord along

He lived a life of solitude

Which gave him such a sour mood

And so when it happened, everyone thought it strange

When such a young witch caused such a big change

She was the most intelligent young witch as could be

With a beautiful soul exposed for everyone to see

Her companionship wasn’t wanted at first

But the impression she left caused him a thirst

To touch her hand and smell her hair

The craving to taste her lips was more than he could bare

He tried to push her away with all his might

But she always invaded his visions at night

Stronger and stronger the relationship grew

They were both aware of the sparks that flew

She, with the corkscrew curls framing her face

He, with the undeniable, unwavering grace

And together they prayed to the gods

To be together, against all odds

And if the worst should come, they’d stand

Facing it together, hand in hand

Little by little, he came out of his shell

And was left naked without the walls that fell

Everyone was awed at the progress she made

As his hatred for all seemed to fade

He holds her close as they dance

Marveling at his second chance

Of life, of love, of a new start

With this young witch who stole his heart

And she can’t believe how lucky she got

He makes her smile and she loves him a lot

She never thought he was capable of affection

He kept himself under much protection

But in the end, he finally broke

Unable to hide from the truth she spoke

Now that he has it, he won’t let it go

He loves her more than she’ll ever know

When it first started, no one believed it was real

“He’s cold-hearted, he can’t feel!”

Slowly but surely, he proved them wrong

Like when he held her close as they danced to their song

That played in their hearts for only them to hear

‘Cause when they’re together, they’ve got nothing to fear

And she’ll never in her life let them part

And he’ll hold her forever, right in his heart.

Titanic

2007-10-24T22:39:11Z

Title: Titanic
Ship: SS/HG
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,335
Summary: Happily married, Severus and Hermione are watching Titanic. How is the movies tragic love similar to the love of the Snape’s?

“Where to, Miss?”

“To the stars,” Hermione said, in perfect synch with Rose.

“That was rather-“

“-Romantic? I know,” she said, cutting her husband off in mid-sentence.

“That wasn’t quite what I was going to say, love,” Severus responded in his deep, suave voice.

“Oh, but it is! And- look… Put your hands on me, Jack,” Hermione said, again perfectly timed.

“You know this film like Hogwarts, A History, don’t you?”

“This was a favorite of my mum’s. We’d sit up late at night eating ice cream, crying every time we saw the ending,” she said wistfully, thinking of the old days.

“Well, it’s nice to have some alone time, even if we are just watching a Muggle film.”

Hermione hit Severus playfully at his tease.

“It was rather nice of mother to take the kids for the weekend.”

“It was. We have time to… well, do what those two Muggles are doing,” Severus said, referring to the scene in Titanic where Rose and Jack are in the carriage.

“Is that all you ever think about?”

“How could I not, when I’ve got my beautiful wife lying in my arms, her wonderful scent filling me each time I take a breath?”

“Aren’t you quite the romantic?” Hermione teased.

“If you tell anyone, you’re sleeping on the couch for the next month.”

“And is that supposed to hurt me or you?”

“…Good point,” Severus admitted, eliciting a giggle from Hermione.

They continued to watch the movie in silence until Hermione squealed and looked away, burying her face into Severus’s shoulder.

“What is it?” he asked, concerned.

“It’s-oh,” she said, not being able to look at the old couple on the bed together, the man kissing his wife on the cheek as the water flooded into their room, or the mother tucking her two kids into bed, telling them a story.

Severus chuckled at his wife’s sensitivity, a sound that came from deep inside his chest and made Hermione tingle with arousal.

“This movie is quite… tragic,” Severus said of the little kid crying in the corridor, alone.

“It is, but it’s so romantic! I mean, she’s on the boat, and then jumps off because she doesn’t want to be without him, and… I’ve always wanted to have love like theirs.”

“And now?” he asked quietly.

“And now, I have it,” Hermione responded softly, pressing her lips to his.

Their love was quite similar to that of Rose and Jack. The sinking of the boat and the chaos it had caused was like the war of Light and Dark, and the lives it had meddled in.

Severus remembered the day as if it were yesterday. He had been called to a meeting among those in Voldemort’s ranks.

“What is going on?” he asked one of his fellow Death Eaters.

“I’ve heard that the Dark Lord has got someone with inside information to the Order’s activity,” the man responded gruffly, though Severus could still hear the excitement in his voice as he bounced on the balls of his feet.

Severus’s blood ran cold at the news. Who could they possibly have?

“Do you know who it is?” he asked sharply.

“No idea,” came the response.

Severus waited impatiently for the meeting to begin. When it did, they all shuffled into the room and took their seats, eagerly waiting for the show that promised to be interesting.

Finally, a door was heard opening and the sounds of a struggle ensued.

“Let go of me! Let- me- go!” a female voice exclaimed. One that Severus recognized. One that made his heart drop to his stomach.

“Shut up, you Mudblood bitch!” a voice shouted, and the sound of a smack across her face almost made him stand up and curse the man within an inch of his life. But alas, if they were to get out of this alive- the both of them- then this would need some serious, quick planning.

Cheers and cackles erupted as a struggling Hermione was brought to the front and center of the room, facing everyone, as two men held each of her arms. Severus saw her eyes scan the room and land on him. Her struggling ceased for a moment before the men jerked her, and the contact was broken and she began her fight again.

“Let me go, you barbarians!” she screeched, twisting her arms this way and that, which succeeded in nothing but for their grips on her wrists to become tighter.

Suddenly, everyone in the room became quiet. The taunts died down, the men looked to the door, and Hermione stopped fighting and glanced, horrified, where the eyes of all in the room were resting.

The Dark Lord had finally made his appearance.

The door behind him closed with a bang, and his robes swept behind him impressively as he made his way to the center of the room.

“Hello, my darling,” he said, tracing a line with his long, porcelain white finger along Hermione’s jaw.

“Don’t touch me, you piece of scum,” she hissed, contempt written all over her face.

“And she has a temper, too. I can tell why she’s one of Harry Potter’s little trio,” he spat venomously. “But no matter, no matter, we will deal with her later.

“It has been too long, my friends, too long indeed that we have been left in the dark without a whisper of the happenings of Dumbledore and his little group of minions. But fortunately, that time has come to an end. We have here, as you all undoubtedly know, Harry Potter’s close friend, Mudblood Hermione Granger.

“It was hard to obtain our little prize, but after much hard work, we have succeeded. She is the best friend of Potter, and will hold the information we seek. She is, after all, the brains of the group, I hear.”

“I won’t tell you a thing,” she argued. “Not a single thing.”

“I wouldn’t be too sure of that, my sweet,” he sang, a vicious smile upon his lips.

“You can torture me till I’m nothing but a dribbling, drooling fool, but I will tell you not a word of anything but my utter revulsion for you.”

Even though the situation was dark, Severus couldn’t help but to be proud of his lover, who showed such bravery at a time as the one present. She was so mature, but so young, at the age of only seventeen.

The next words uttered by Voldemort brought Severus crashing back to reality.

“Then so be it.”

Severus had to endure the grueling hours- or at least, that’s what it felt like to him- of watching the Dark Lord try everything in his might to crack the girl. But she held true to her word. She had not said a single thing.

“This is enough for the day. Leave. All of you!” Voldemort shouted, angered by his inability to get the girl to speak. “Except for you, Severus.”

Hermione’s previously drooping head snapped up, fear etched in every inch of her face. This, however, was not noticed by anyone in the room except for Severus, who risked a minor warning glance to her. In response, she nodded her head a fraction of an inch, and kept her eyes to her feet.

“Yes, my Lord?” Severus inquired, kneeling at his Master’s feet and keeping his head low. “What can I do to be of service to you?”

“I will require the strongest flask of Veritaserum you have. Bring it to Mulciber in the morning; I have had enough for the night.”

“Where will I find Mulciber?”

“He will be standing guard over the Mudblood, as well as Nott. You know where our prisoners are held. ”

Severus nodded that he understood, and Voldemort dismissed him with a curt “Stand,” and with a sharp turn, he walked out of the room, his robes billowing behind him.

“Let’s go, let’s go,” one of the men who Severus now identified as Nott ordered, pulling Hermione towards the door.

The fight seemed to have left Hermione, and she followed them without argument with one final stolen look at Severus.

The thought of leaving her with those two mirthless men made his stomach turn, but he had no choice. He’d be back as soon as possible, but he had to prepare himself, first.

And so Severus quickly left the premises and apparated to the gates of Hogwarts as soon as he could, making his way to his dungeons. Not even bothering to check in with Dumbledore, for it would take too much time that he did not have, he gathered everything he would need. Healing potions, revitalizing potions, blood replenishing potions- anything he would possibly need. He knew Hermione was in poor condition from the torture she’d received, and she’d need on the spot attention before he could drag her from Headquarters and apparate her to Hogwarts.

Once he had gotten a flask full of water to imitate Veritaserum, Severus set out to the gates again, walking briskly, his feet making no sounds as his boots hit the stone floor. Finally, he got outside and reached the gates. Barely one foot over the threshold, he apparated back to Headquarters.

“Snape? What are you doing here?” Nott asked.

“I was asked to bring Veritaserum to Mulciber. Where is he?”

“He is playing with the Mudblood. Right pretty little thing she is. I’ll take you to them.”

Severus ground his teeth together, not wanting to think of what they had done to her in the little bit of time that he was gone. He followed Nott down a few sets of stairs to the dungeons, where he opened a door and walked in to find Hermione in a cell. She was locked behind bars, her clothes disheveled, and the light in her eyes that he loved gone. She didn’t even look up when she heard the door open, and he realized that she must have resigned herself to her fate. She gave up.

“What are you doing here, Snape?” Mulciber asked, causing Hermione’s head to snap over to look at the two men who had just entered.

“I was told to bring Veritaserum to you for Granger. He plans to work on her in the morning,” Severus answered, surreptitiously casting glances around the room, calculating his plan.

“Oh. Well, give it here, then,” Mulciber replied, and Severus could smell the liquor on his breath. Perfect. That would make his plan go even smoother.

Taking a look at Nott who was too busy taunting Hermione to notice anything until it was too late, Severus reached into his robes on the pretext of getting out the Veritaserum. However, once he brought his hand out, it was with his wand.

“Stupefy!” he shouted, pointing his wand at Mulciber who went down immediately.

“What the-”

Before Nott could even finish his sentence, Severus had him down for the count as well.

“Severus?” Hermione questioned incredulously, voice hoarse.

“I’m here, Hermione. I’m here. But I need you to do something. I’m going to kick to you Mulciber’s wand. I want you to blast open the lock.”

Hermione nodded and did as she was told. As soon as she stood, her legs gave out and she began to crumple to the floor. Severus rushed to her and caught her before she fell.

“I never thought I was going to make it out of here, Severus.”

“Of course you would. Did you think I would just let you die?” he asked sharply, taking the potions from his robes. “Drink up.”

When Hermione had finished the potions Severus brought to her, she drank the water that was supposed to be Veritaserum.

“I didn’t think there was a way to get out of this is at all.”

“There is always a way. And I’ve got one that will not sacrifice my position as a spy, either.”

Severus smiled at Hermione’s puzzled look, which was soon replaced by a thoughtful one.

“You kicked to me Mulciber’s wand and had me blow it up from the inside to look as though I had escaped myself. But how would I have gotten his wand?”

With a smile, Severus motioned to the bottles of Fire Whiskey.

“Oh.”

Letting Hermione gather herself, Severus let her go and made sure she was okay before walking away. He pushed Mulciber’s body over by the bars, pushing his hand out so it would be within reaching distance of the captive. Making sure Hermione had left the wand in the cell, everything looked good. Only a few more things to do.

He placed in Nott’s hand a bottle of whiskey, and in the other, his wand. He positioned his body in such a way that it looked as if he had a duel with Mulciber and got himself stupefied. Nott was taken care of, and Mulciber just looked as if he passed out from drinking too much liquor.

Perfect.

“Come, Hermione. We’re going back to Hogwarts.”

Severus was brought back to reality by the sound of Hermione’s sniffles and her wiping her eyes. The movie had finished.

“Even though I know the ending, I can never prevent myself from crying,” she said, giving a watery laugh.

“I love you, Hermione.”

The statement came out of the blue, and Hermione looked a bit confused.

“I love you, too, Severus. But where did that come from?”

“Is it wrong to tell my wife how much I care for her?”

“Of course not, but… Oh, never mind,” she said dismissively, throwing down her napkin on the coffee table.

“So… The kids are gone,” Severus stated.

“They are.”

“All seven of them.”

“I know. Imagine that. Seven kids.”

“We’re tied with Arthur and Molly Weasley.”

“We are.”

“How about we beat their record?”

“Are you saying…?”

“Yes. Let’s get to some baby making, Mrs. Snape.”

Hermione laughed at the devilish grin on her husbands face and squealed as he pounced on her, their lips crashing together as he picked her up and brought her to the bedroom.